NEW LAWS FOR HUNTING LAWYERS

           Thanks to Sports Xtra reader Horst D for sending in this
hilarious lawyers gag...

           While hunting has become a popular sport in many
countries, laws have to be developed to both keep the populations in
balance as well as to allow for a fair fight. New Rules and
Regulations also have to be legislated whenever new species become
the object of the hunt. With this is mind comes new regulations.

           US Government Department of Fish and "wildlife" Sec. 1200

           1- Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest
attorneys.

           2- Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is
permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

           3- Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If
accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to
nearest car wash.

           4- It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys
from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.

           5- It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance",
or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

           6- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards
of BMW dealerships.

           7- It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards
of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars,
ambulances, or hospitals.

           8- If an attorney is elected to government office, it
shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or possess it. Stuffed or
mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for
rabies, and vermin.

           10- It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself
as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident
victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting
attorneys.

BAG LIMITS (Maximum number of catches allowed per hunting season)

Yellow Bellied Sidewinder 2
Two-faced Fee gouger 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator 4
Small-breasted Ball Buster 3 (Female only)
Big-mouthed Plea Bargainer 2
Cut-throat ambulance chaser 2
Estate scamming double-talker 2
Brown-nosed Butt Kisser 2
Honest Attorney: On the Endangered Species List (Illegal to hunt)
Silver-tongued Serial Murder Defender: $1000 BOUNTY on this species!